Remote EMDR PL

Can you do EMDR on yourself?

Many people come across EMDR tools online and wonder whether they can use them on their own. The short answer: bilateral stimulation is fine for calming and grounding yourself, but working through traumatic memories is best done with a trained EMDR therapist. This guide explains why, and what you can safely do on your own.

What “doing EMDR” actually involves

EMDR is more than eye movements. It is a protocol with eight phases: history and treatment planning, preparation, assessment of a target memory, desensitisation, installation, body scan, closure and re-evaluation. The eye movements are only one part of it.

The therapist chooses which memories to work on and paces the work. They notice when you become overwhelmed or start to dissociate, and they help you settle before you leave the session.

The risks of processing trauma alone

  • Getting flooded: a memory can feel more intense before it gets better. On your own, it's hard to stop in time and bring yourself back.
  • Dissociation: feeling numb, far away or unreal. You may not notice it happening.
  • Opening a chain of memories: one memory can connect to others you didn't plan to touch.
  • Getting stuck: without guidance you may loop on the worst moment and end up feeling worse than when you started.

This matters most for complex trauma or childhood abuse, and for people with a history of dissociation, self-harm or psychosis.

What you can safely do on your own

  • The butterfly hug. This technique was developed by Lucina Artigas and Ignacio Jarero. Cross your arms over your chest so your hands rest on your upper arms or collarbones. Then tap slowly, alternating left and right, while breathing calmly. Use it to settle after a stressful day or to strengthen a good feeling.
  • A calm place exercise. Picture a place where you feel safe and relaxed and notice the details: sounds, colours, temperature. Add a few slow sets of bilateral stimulation while you hold the image.
  • Grounding with your senses. Name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell and 1 you taste.

A rule of thumb: on your own, use bilateral stimulation to strengthen calm, not to dig into painful memories. If a distressing memory comes up, stop, open your eyes and ground yourself.

Remote EMDR is a tool for therapists

Remote EMDR was built for therapists who run EMDR sessions with their clients. The patient screen is meant to be used while a therapist guides you, usually on a video call. It is not a self-help app.

Online EMDR with a therapist

You don't need an EMDR therapist around the corner: EMDR also works over video, and many therapists offer it online. When choosing a therapist, look for:

  • EMDR training, ideally with accreditation from EMDR Europe or a national EMDR association. In the Netherlands, that is the Vereniging EMDR Nederland (VEN).
  • A registered psychologist or psychotherapist. In the Netherlands, look for BIG or NIP registration.
  • Experience with what you're dealing with, and a language you can talk comfortably in.

Not sure whether EMDR is right for you? Read CBT vs EMDR on the ExpatPsychologie blog.

In crisis? If you're thinking about suicide or feel unsafe, call 112. In the Netherlands you can also reach 113 Suicide Prevention on 113 or 0800-0113 (free, 24/7).